‘I don’t own my cat – he owns me!’ How often have we all said that?

After all, it’s part of a cat’s charm. You adore them. They allow you to adore. Just don’t expect eternal gratitude in return. Cats don’t do subservience. And if you want submissive get a dog.

Perhaps it’s human nature to love and not to count the cost. But how much would you sacrifice for your cat? All your money? All your time? Or both?

Here, we talk to individuals who go that extra mile to ensure their cats’ happiness – and the people who are in business to meet that need. This is often admirable.

But we also look at those who have taken a step too far – to the brink of extreme devotion where they risk shattered relationships, financial disaster, and sheer exhaustion.

Imagine you had a bottomless purse or wallet. Tiddles’ birthday is approaching. What to get the cat who has everything?

Well how about a new cat bed? Harrods of Knightsbridge do a neat four-poster for felines, a snip at £245. It comes complete with wooden frame and posts; a pelmet and comfy cushion.

At an extra cost, choose the fabric perhaps to match your own bed? And if you can’t bear to leave your pet to visit Harrods, you can arrange for the bed to be delivered to you anywhere the world!

Can’t buy me love

It may be among the best your money can buy. But does your cat appreciate it? Top vet Bradley Viner thinks not. "If the owner gets pleasure from having bought a luxury cat bed, that’s fine. But most cats are perfectly happy with a cardboard box with a hole cut in, and some comfy bedding in it.’

The good news is Bradley does not think you can ‘spoil’ a feline, to create a brat cat. "You won’t change its nature like that,’ he states. ‘Most of us are a ‘bit silly’ with our pets after all, and there’s nothing wrong with that.’

But there are limits. "From the veterinary point of view, the difficulties are with spoiling the health of the pet. For example, the person who would indulge the pet with the wrong sorts for food. A lot of cats like liver, but if you give too much of it you get cats who will develop a condition called Hypervitaminosis A. More commonly, cats are obese because their owners feed them too much."

And there are more extreme examples where too much love is the cruellest thing. Bradley said: ‘When a cat becomes elderly and can’t cope, most people are anxious that their pet doesn’t suffer. But some people can be selfish about it. They can’t cope with the idea of losing their cat, and so they keep it alive despite the lack of quality of life.’

Still, when your cats are hale and hearty, it’s only natural to want to keep them alive. Your Cat reader Pamela Dalley shelled out £600 to save her cats from death on the roads near her cottage in Wantage, Oxon. The money paid for a custom-built ‘safe cat haven’ in her back garden, complete with wooden posts covered in chicken wire, attached to the back wall of her home. Pamela didn’t regret the cost. ‘We decided to build a safe cat haven for our four cats after rescuing a five-week-old ginger kitten. We had already had three cats run over and killed over the previous 10 years, and Marmalade was far too precious to let loose on the adjacent A338!’

So much for feline home improvements. What if your cat tires of his surroundings?

No problem. You can always take a luxury break – together.

Mansfield House is a four-star hotel in Scotland, prepared to accommodate guests with cats at the drop of a hat. They even advertise in Pets Welcome! a directory for holidaymakers who won’t leave home without their animals.

There, a pampered puss could enjoy deluxe Victorian surroundings, nestled in the Ross-shire countryside where seafood is a natural part of the menu. The chefs have a regular stock of cat food if necessary.

‘We also have an excellent vet just around the corner,’ said hotel spokesman Norman Lauritsen. So far, though, dogs are the only animal guests to check in. "Cats may be less inclined to travel away from home," suggests Norman.

Or perhaps the Isle of Skye is more your cat’s scene? The island’s Kinloch Lodge will also open its doors to privileged fat cats. Again, this hasn’t yet happened, in the experience of Rachel MacKinnon who has worked at the 16th Century hotel for six years. What’s more, any VIPs (Very Important Pusses) would be subject to house rules. "They would have to be well-behaved, stay in the bedrooms, not in the public rooms as we’d have other guests to consider.’

Suitable meals, it seems wouldn’t be a problem. "There’s always fish on the premises." And a vet can be found only ten minutes’ away. But feline visitors would do well to remember this hotel is the home of Lord and Lady MacDonald, who have their own pets. "They have two lovely whippets, who wouldn’t necessarily get on with cats," warns Rachel.

On planning a holiday, many of us book a place in the sun for ourselves and a place in a cattery for our pets. But as the day of departure approaches, some devoted owners can’t bear to leave their cat. So they cancel both the holiday and the cattery, at considerable expense. "It’s the exception, not the rule, but it has been known," says Kate Walton, of Paws and Claws cattery in Wansford, Cambs.

More commonly, owners cut their break short by a day or two, and dash back to pick up their pet. "That happens fairly regularly," affirms Kate.

The cats, however, show little emotion at the reunion. "A cat will look at its owner, miaow, then maybe go back to bed. Most cats do that," says Kate. "I think they’re making a point: ‘You left me here, so why should I care about you?’ Some owners are quite put out that their cat’s not particularly pleased to see them!"

Other cat lovers have a different solution to the holiday dilemma. They arrange some personal service for their pet while they’re away. This is where Mary Rothwell comes in. She runs the Chiswick Cat Feeding Service – letting herself into your home once or twice a day to give your cat food, comfort and attention. "I started up three years ago and it’s really taken off. I’m working 365 days a year," explains Mary.

She operates in the well-heeled London districts of Chiswick, Acton, Ealing, Hammersmith and Kew. Her clients are mainly high-earners, business people torn between their jet-setting career and their stay-at-home pet cats. But Mary insists it’s not an extravagant service for the super-rich. "I only charge £6 a call."

What’s more, she believes it could cotton on nation-wide. "In the past, people would rely on their neighbours to look after their cats while they’re away. But how many people really know their neighbours today? So they need someone reliable to feed the cat."

Some owners, however, take it one step further. They need a ‘home sitter’ to live in their home and ensure their pets get 24-hour assistance. Adele Barclay is managing director of Homesitters, a company dedicated to solutions for such devoted pet owners.

"We charge £25 a day for a sitter to come into the client’s property and care for the property. There’s a small additional charge for the care of pets – £1 net per day, plus VAT," explains Adele.

The owners also pay food and travelling expenses for the sitter to come to and from their own home for the stay itself, and for an all-important preliminary meeting.

"We put a large amount of emphasis on taking a lot of information from the client on how much attention the cat is used to, where it sleeps and about its diet. We find a sitter that is going to match that very closely. That’s the essence of the service."

Paula Norman regularly uses Homesitters to care for Mittens, her 13-year-old tabby, at her west London home. The veteran moggy nearly died aged four, and underwent major surgery when his half his spleen was removed. "He went through all manner of tests," recalls Paula, "and he was on steroids until he was nine."

Holidays therefore presented a problem. "He means a lot to me, and I couldn’t put him in a cattery."

Her mother used to take Mittens in, until Paula hit upon Homesitters. "Mittens has got a big personality and he loves to be with people. When the sitter comes to ours for the first meeting, Mittens can tell instantly whether he likes them or not. And they have to know that he likes to sleep in the bed at night!"

So far, we have looked at the well-loved cats. But what about the legions of abandoned and homeless cats and kittens? Thankfully, a number of them are saved by dedicated men and women who run rescue centres.

But these unsung heroes are in danger of paying a huge price for their dedication, as Christine Lomax can testify.

She has been successfully running the Lancashire Cat Rescue near Preston since 1994. But before then, her devotion to stray and homeless cats ran her into the ground.

Christine spent six years as a co-ordinator for a local branch of another cat charity. "I was running round trying to do everything by myself, collecting items for fund-raising jumble sales, doing home checks for potential new owners; doing everything."

Before long, she was afraid to delegate to anyone else. "People had let me down so I was reluctant to relinquish the power." And her time was no longer her own. "It happens without you realising it," says Christine. "You start off small, people keep bringing cats to you. You can’t say no, and you wear yourself out. The cats aren’t getting the time and attention they need, and you’re getting tired."

Other rescuers get bogged down by setting up alone with little or no funds or preparation, Christine adds: "There are too many people, often elderly and in their eighties, who have had nothing, they have had to sell their televisions just to raise money to start a cat rescue.

"Then they get a reputation as the local ‘cat woman’ and people will turn up and dump cats on her, which she can’t cope with. And people will give you a load of verbal abuse if you say no. I will not end up like that."

Now Christine sets herself strict limits. "I won’t take a cat if I’m full or if the cat has an owner that just doesn’t want it any more. And I find time away from the cat rescue, go to the theatre, have meals out, visit friends. Then you can come back to it fresh."

Your love for a cat can cost you even more dearly, if it conflicts with your loyalty to loved ones.

Just ask Relate. It provides guidance for people whose relationships are heading for the rocks.

Sue Parkes, chief executive of Greater Manchester South Relate, said: "It sounds quite glib when you first talk about it, but pets are very important to people. I don’t think you can overestimate how much people love their animals.

"I don’t want you to think pets cause relationship breakdowns, but they are issues which may seem quite trivial to the onlooker, yet can be very real in terms of making a strain on a new relationship."

Problems can arise if someone falls in love with their pet, then a new man or woman turns up in their life.

Sue said: "If you have a reconstituted family, somebody may come to the relationship with a pet. Then there may be difficulties with the other half not liking pets. Some people have phobias, some have allergies. Pets can be a trigger point to trouble in an already rocky relationship.

She adds: "A lot of people joke about their cats, saying ‘these are my substitute children’. But this can be a serious subject. There are a lot of people who can’t have children and for whom their pets are their family."

Sue’s advice is clear: Discuss the pet problem with your partner, preferably before setting up home together. "It needs to be talked about, then difficulties can be prevented."

So we can see that too much love can be enough for any cat. Us humans may be well meaning but we have a tendency to exaggeration, complicated relationships and even self-destruction. Let’s not forget, cats choose to live with us. That may not be a declaration of undying love. But it’s the best we’re going to get…